Was it sweat? Was it tear? Was it rain falling on my face?

***********
It is another ending again, and another beginning again.

...... ...... ...... ......

Rewind

I am at the same place, I am sitting at the same seat, I am reading but nothing is going into my mind as I see you, I see you were sitting at the same seat, my hands started to shake, my hearts started to beat faster, and then I see you were reading , and you fell asleep. So I was watching you, watching you closely while you were sleeping and my heart was smiling. And then you woke up. And then, and then my vision turned blurrie .... There's rain in the hot and sunny day.........

Same place, same seat, same time, but ...... solo.....

-The boundaries, the black sofa, 6.49pm-

Appreciation of artistic works

I noticed that recently I start to appreciate the artistic works, be it a poem, a song, a book, a movie or even a post in the blog, as in like I think the artistic works are valuable and precious.

The more I blog, the more I find out that sometimes it is really difficult to put my thoughts in my own words or graphics. Thus, I go for original albums or books nowadays. To me, it is about spending money for your appreciation to the ideas created by other people, ideas of a song, ideas on coming up a story which always have the meaning(s) behind, so this is the action of showing your appreciation to the piece of work. Supporting they call it, but to me, I like to use the word "Appreciation", as supporting to me is more to like buying the tangible products like an album, a movie tix, a book so that the album/movie/book that you like will be on top of the chart; Whereas appreciation is more to like you understand and think that the ideas from that piece of work, the intangible part of the work-creativity, is worth buying and you want to own it so you use the money to exchange for the ownership of the ideas/creativities.

I buy the ideas/creativities, but not the tangible products.

Miscellaneous

Yum cha with friends just now and again, we talked about the achievement in life, about career, about direction in life, about love, about aging, and again, I'm firmed on my anticipation to be at age 30. Cant wait to reach age 30.

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Today is 27th Jan 07

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Why am I still awake right now?

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I wanna go to the Borders now!

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Time flies

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Terminal Illness

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Da Bei Zhou

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The bedsheet

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The birdnest and the soup

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Sake Head shiru

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GreenTea Frapp

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Aromatherapy and fragrance

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Peace in my mind

......................................

Company Outing @ Malacca, 20-21 Jan 07

Some pics to share

http://www1.snapfish.com/thumbnailshare/AlbumID=147671154/a=52161385_52161385/fromupload=true/t_=52161385

时间让痛苦不平都沉淀
怀念让整个心情在浮现
我有太多感觉必须再见一面
不能好聚好散的爱会让心纠结
离别不代表磨灭一切
谎言有些时候也许是体贴
你用泪光回应我的真诚谅解
明天我们都有艳阳天
你是心中的花园
经常开玫瑰偶尔飘落叶
爱在心中的花园
充满想念留驻一个季节
纪念我曾勇敢满身伤痛扬起笑脸
很近地站在幸福前
当我给了你原谅也给了自己远方
这爱不再是一面墙变成身后月光

The Reason

I was looking for the 'why' for certain things, on my way back home just now, I've found The Reason.

........ But I continue learning....... I've found a reason for me....... It's something I must live with everyday..........

It's really A reason, the one and only reason.

The same journey and destination that you had been to. The same red juicy cuties dont taste sweet anymore.

Time passes and things change.

I have mouth, but I cant talk to you
I have hands, but I cant write to you
I have ears, but I cant hear you
I have senses, but I can only taste the memories
I have eyes, but I can only see you in my dreams

I learn the life everyday.

The same journey, the same destination, the same food, the same activities but
different crowds, different mood and the taste and fun is not there anymore.
Time passes and we change

--------

想念， 牵挂

Sometimes life is complicated

was it tear? was it sweat? or was it the rain drops on my face? which was which???

Boiling

I throw my heart out, trying my best to pull you up. But all I have in returns are just more problems and frustrations and weakness and anger and what's more?? Death??

I'm damn f*cking pissed off!!! I mean it!!! It is really f*cking PISSED OFF!!! Why is this and what is this? Am I not good enough? Am I not being patient enough to help you to get through this? You pain me...you really do...

I've realised, there's no easy way or shorter way to get through this. So just be it and I just gave up, at least, so the time being.

Tonight, I'll be dieing and tomorrow, I'll be reborn.

Death ends a life, not a relationship - Tuesday with Morrie

***************

Break-up buries an official relationship, not the love.

目眩的眼光
擦身边而过
天真的孩子
有天使的翅膀
黑暗中的一点光
纯白之中的一抺黑
翅膀上空无一物
看也看不清
我并不是我
那一个是我
那一个都错
镜子里是我吗
我的手总抓不住
快乐不过是一口气
我的心最放不下
风里的日子
飞也飞不高
没翅膀不算天使
坠落人间的一首诗
写的是你
吻也吻不到
请握著我的双手
最后的愿望
不回头你带我走
带我飞出去
告别了伤城

He knows how to pull me up when I almost fall, he knows how to clear my mind, he knows how to make me to move on. Thanks.

I look forward for weekends to come nowadays. Does this mean my week days are not good? Does this mean my weekends are better? Hmmm.... I look forward for a brand new day everyday in fact. I want to do something, 15th Jan and 21st Jan are 2 important dates to me. Cant wait for the days to come. All the best to me!

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Start liking the lighting or lightning image in my blog now. I like this new template.

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I sleep less nowadays, but I still feel happy. When my mood is running low, I go for sweet stuff, a cup of sweet tea, some chocolate biscuits. I notice sweet stuff will make me feel happy.

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That something is pumping my blood now. But I think I better off to bed now. Tomorrow will be another brand new day.

Repost

"Have You Ever?"
[Chorus]
Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever, have you ever
Have you ever been in love
Been in love so bad
You'd do anything to make them understand
Have you ever had someone steal your heart away
You'd give anything to make them feel the same
Have you ever searched for words to get you in their hear
tBut you don't know what to sayA
nd you don't know where to start
[Chorus]
Have you ever found the one
You've dreamed of all of your life
You'd do just about anything to look into their eyes
Have you finally found the one you've given your heart to
Only to find that one won't give their heart to you
Have you ever closed your eyes and
Dreamed that they were there
And all you can do is wait for the day when they will care
[Chorus]
What do I gotta do to get you in my arms baby
What do I gotta say to get to your heart
To make you understand how I need you next to me
Gotta get you in my world
Cuz baby I can't sleep
[Chorus]

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Have you ever? She said it is the purest of pain...it is

New Template

Discovered so much blog templates in the net. In fact, I was supposed to look for some website templates for some business usages, but I ended up choosing templates for my own blog. There are few which I like, so may be will just change it from time to time, just like changing clothes. The current template that you are viewing now named "Make My Way", I like the name very much. It just jives with my blog's name I guess; make my way so I'm out here on my own. Although the lighting or lightning image is not that nice, personally I dont like it, but it comes with the package so I just take it. Give and Take, and Accept, coz either I take it or leave it.

Any comments on the new template? Be the first to comment for this template then.

Where do the broken hearts go? Where do my tears go?

Where does actually my broken heart go?

I know it's been some time
But there's something on my mind
You see, I haven't been the same
Since that cold November ( October ) day
We said we needed space
But all we found was an empty place
And the only things I learned Is that
I need you desp'rately
So here I am
And can you please tell me
Where do broken hearts go?
Can they find their way home
Back to the open arms
Of a love that's waiting there?

Where does it go? And now, I need a cry, but where do my tears go?

Good sign though, no more tears, just like Johnson & Johnson ;)

What Am I doing

I'm supposed to go to the gym, but I left my gym bag at home. Since this morning, I've been waiting for this evening class , went off on time to rush to the class, but when I reached the gym, only I realised I didnt bring my gym bag along. Blur me, but why?

Why do my tears stop?

Wonder why do my tears stop?

My tears stop
so that I have hands to wipe the tears on your face
My tears stop
so that I have hands to hug you tight
My tears stop
so that I can think rationally and be able to give you advise
My tears stop
so that I can make you stay stronger to go through this stage
My tears stop
so that I can see clearly for you
My tears stop
finally

no matter what I say, time is the only remedy. There is(are) always reason(s) behind on things that happened.

Women - Part II

Yum cha with 2 friends . We talked about love. I threw them a question, asking them who they will choose, a guy who loves them more or a guy whom they love him more. Surprisingly, they have the same answer as mine, the latter one. I know that most of the women will choose the first one, and throughout my life, I’ve heard many times people telling me that choose a guy who loves me more is better and will bring happiness. Clever women they call it. But why so? Could it be women are considered a weaker species ever since the old days? Thus, women need more protections and care and love more than the men do? And when he loves you more, he will give you more protections and care and love that leads to an easier life as in you do not need to worry much about any problems as he will always be there for you, a carefree life? Therefore it will bring happiness to you?

My colleague told me before, when she was young, she chose the first choice and the relationship did not work and she ended up with her husband whom she doesn’t love that much but can promise her a carefree life.

Generation now is different; our world now is so much different from the old days. Women are more independent nowadays. Yes, we do need TLC, same goes to man I suppose. A guy friend recently told me that he does not like a lonely life as well. He needs companion as well; even companion from a friend does in fact consist of Love element, friendship.

3 of us tried both and we know it clearly which one we will choose.

Am I not mature enough to choose? May be yes. May be one day I’ll be like my colleague. Who knows?

Women out there, which one will you choose?

Women - Part I

Women are funny. They want to keep secret but yet they reveal them either directly or indirectly. Or I should say, human beings are funny. They want to keep secret but yet they reveal them either directly or indirectly.

I thought I will not have the courage to love anymore, but in fact, I still love.

for one more day

"Life is a series of pulls back and forth. You want to do one thing, but you are bound to do something else. Something hurts you, yet you know it shouldn't. You take certain things for granted, even when you know you should never take anything for granted."
-- Mitch Albom


"...We dont get into the habit of standing back and looking at our lives and saying, Is this all? Is this all I want? Is something missing?"
-- Mitch Albom


"If you had the chance, just one chance, to go back and fix what you did wrong in life, would you take it? And if you did, would you be big enough to stand it? Mitch Albom, in this new book, once again demonstrates why he is one of my favorite writers: a fearless explorer of the wishful and magical, he is also a devout believer in the power of love. For One More Day will make you smile. It will make you wistful. It will make you blink back tears of nostalgia. But most of all, it will make you believe in the eternal power of a mother's love."
--James McBride, author of The Color of Water

Is the new book ( the one with soft cover, hard cover too expensive for ) out in the market already? Any ideas anyone?

I Finally found you

...3" heels...

世界上没有很完美的配搭。 你对他付出100%， 并不代表在他身上你可以得回100%。可能在以后， 你会得回那100%， 但并不是在他身上， 是在另一个人身上。 人生就是要经过这些挫折， 受这些痛苦。只有经过这些挫折， 痛苦， 人才会成长。 没有痛苦的人生， 是白活， 是天堂。 我们应该从这挫折， 痛苦中学会活得更好。就算是背着遗憾，也要懂得会心一笑， 懂得知足。 我， 在努力学着。

so long I havent stayed up so late for blogging, tonight is the night again. I'm so happy.

I saw the 4 of u, it's proven, bingo!
I see the 2 of u now, but Only Heaven Knows
I see the 2 of us now, but Only Heaven Knows

http://www.mp3lyrics.org/r/rick-price/heaven-knows/

To the heartbreakers out there,

I wish I could hug you tight in my arms, and pray hard that you'll be strong enough to go thru this stage. I know it does not help eventhough you cry your heart out, but it does really help in some ways, sometimes. I read you although I may not know you and I feel the pain too. I cried my heart out, hoping the soul without the heart will be more peaceful and comfortable but I was so wrong. So, I move on. Move on with an empty heart, with a hole in my soul. I pass my day and day and day and day... I really do. The earth is round and I just keep on walking and hoping that there's light at the end of the tunnel. I know the day will come. Everything is destinied and only Heaven/God knows us, our destiny. When everything comes to an end, when I take in the last breathe of my life, I know that I've lived fully, this life will never be meaningless as you stepped into my life before. Thank you for hurting me, for letting we both go. When the pain is over, I will not call it as "hurting" me anymore as it sounds Pessimistic. Everything happens for reason(s).

Life.

Thank you.

Let's fly up even higher.

And Now is the payback time

Won 3 good prizes in luck draw, and now is the payback time already. I LOST my Touch 'n Go card worth RM 49.90 which I just reloaded!!!! Moreover, that card is my student ID, my first smart card!!!!

sigh...

And I love you so

Those were the days

And things will never be the same.

An empty street
An empty house
A hole inside my heart
I’m all alone
The rooms are getting smaller
I wonder how
I wonder why
I wonder where they are
The days we had
The songs we sang together

All the seas go coast to coast
Find the place I love the most
Where the fields are green

I tried to read
I go to work
I’m laughing with my friends
But I can’t stop
To keep myself from thinking

2 hearts that boarded on 2 different platforms; will never meet again. Time which once gave us a chance of meeting up, has now passed by. The chance is just the only one in our lifetime. No one can turn it back, no one can make up the chance once again. That is the procedure that the universe is running on. What system is that called? The system which provides you with one way ticket only? Life.

Since I've a hole inside my heart/life now, must think of what to put inside the hole to beautify it right? Flower? Money? Diamondsss?? Lotsa lotsa diamondssss?????

And I think I'm no longer the "Past-Me"

Why so? I bought the Paris Hilton Debut Album just now. Like her songs recently. The songs are like waking up the nerves in my body, boiling up my blood, feel like going clubbing, getting bitchy, house music, R & B are in my mind now. What else? Sounds so Not-Bee? Why not? God knows why, I'm still me afterall.

The next CD Im gonna buy? Jamelia - Walk with me. Yeah...was so into her Superstar last time.

The God is fair

As I mentioned in my previous post, I think this year is a lucky year for me. Well, I cant say I'll be lucky throughout the whole year, at least, the beginning of 2007 is lucky for me. I mentioned that I never have any single lucks in lucky draw. But I just won a DVD player and a JJ voucher 2 days ago, today , when I'm back to Cyberjaya office, my boss gave us a lucky draw. Well, it was supposed a lucky draw during X'mas time, but since that time I was in KL office, thus only today I got the chance to draw. There were 5 of us who participated in this later stage of lucky draw. The other 4 colleagues "forced" me to draw last as they worried I'll be too lucky to draw the so-called grand prize! , So I was the last to draw. BUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT......* drum rollzz* plz...... I got the grand prize...SK II MASK desu ne!!! Well, I'm not very sure whether it is a grand prize or there is another bigger prize, but the rest got like tissue paper, chocolates, biscuits kinda stuff. So I thought Im the lucky one during this last round of lucky draw.

There is a Chinese saying that when you have no luck in love, for sure you'll have luck in gambling. " 情场失意， 赌场得意。" I think it is true. :) And I think the God is fair, when you lost something, HE will try to compensate you something else. But, If I were ..... I would .....
*If only...* which will never happen. So, Thank God for giving me the luck, for cheering me up.

A mi to fo.

And I decided to share my luck with my colleagues, thus I went to JJ to get some mini ice-cream to treat my colleagues. Give and take.

Sharp Brand New DVD Player for Sale

Model = DVSL1000W
More details = http://www.sharp.com.my/web/srssc/productdetail.cfm?pcode=DVSL1000W
Market price = RM 185
Selling price = RM 150 ( * Negotiable )

* This is the DVD player that I have got it from a lucky draw, a brand new one, still in the box, unwrapped. Since I have one at home already, so I plan to sell it off. Just drop your message in the comment box if you're interested. TQ!

2006. 2007 ... ...

Never have a single luck in lucky draw all the while. But this 2007, made a difference to me. I won a DVD player on new year eve and surprisingly, today, the 1st day of new year itself, I won another Jaya Jusco voucher!!! What a good sign for starting a year.

Every ending is a beginning. Good bye to 2006 and Welcome year 2007.I look forward to things gonna happen in this year. Resolutions in year 2007??? I've made.

To all of you,
Happy New Year & may all of your dreams come true!