I'm given carrot again, but is that a real carrot or just a plastic carrot it is?

gosh, i fall badly. my prev post dated 26 june 07, my intention was to touch readers' heart with my post/words; but too bad, friends read and told me that the song is nice and touching but not my words....XXX even called and asked "wei...u wanna get back with him?" ...sigh...my intention was really not asking for a patch back or watever, just let it be...my intention was really wanna create a sad touching but yet beautiful post. seems like i failed in doing so. but nvm, i will write more and put in more efforts!!!

In God's Hands

After about 2-month-times, today I left work without the need to turn on my car light. It was dusk. The sky was greyish and little bit of orangish. Radio was playing Nelly's In God's Hands, I winded down the car window and I was running at 40 km/j. The sunset, the breeze that blowing jive together with this song...perfectly. I was enjoying that moment very very much.

To my lost love, I wanna dedicate this post especially for you. Deep in my heart, I know you were true to me and you'd given it all, fate was just not at our side and so our love died.

Here you go with...In God's Hands

http://www.x-patients.org/janet/music/NellyFurtado_Loose/10%20-%20Nelly%20furtado%20-%20In%20gods%20hands-newestmp3s.mp3


I looked at your face
I saw that all the love had died
I saw that we had forgotten to take the time
I, I saw that you couldn't care less about what you do
Couldn't care less about the lies
You couldn't find the time to cry
We forgot about love
We forgot about faith
We forgot about trust
We forgot about us
Now our love's floating out the window
Our love's floating out the back door
Our love's floating up in the sky in heaven
Where it began back in God's hands
You said that you had said all that you had to say
You said baby it's the end of the day
And we gave a lot but it wasn't enough
We got so tired that we just gave up
We didn't respect it
We went and neglected it
We didn't deserve it
But I never expected this
Our love floated out the window
Our love floated out the back door
Our love floated up in the sky to heaven
It's part of a plan
It's back in God's hands
Back in God's hands
It didn't last
It's a thing of the past
Oh we didn't understand
Just what we had
Oh I want it back
Just what we had
Oh I want it back
Oh just what we had


Lyrics by N.Furtado

Wassup?

• I am waiting, I wish I will get it. It might be another rebound, but with this rebound, I hope I will gain more although I know for sure I will fall, badly. I want some luck and support in the future!
• Jay is singing, I head up and see clouds still over the broken love.
• Everyone has his price, what's yours?
• Face still wet.
• It was first Paris, and thn Beyonce, and thn Nelly and now Gwen. How about Yanzi? When I first listened to her latest album, I got disappointed. I tot she made a bad album. I kinda anticipated for her new songs for quite some times. And when I first listened, it was really bad to me, but when I gave it another few rounds of playing, they are beautiful songs. Her songs and her voice are like first love, sad but yet beautiful to taste.
• I cut my hair again.
• I wanna paint and brush myself more.
• My back is now even worse as I am just betrayed.
• I am waiting, I am really waiting patiently.
• Fingers are crossing.
• For the field at the other side, I dunno whether it will be green-er, until I step on it.

Have been raising up my concerns but they were not being addressed properly. Things back to the square. Have been nagging someone to change the attitude, but as the Chinese saying goes, there's no way to change one's attitude. This time, I'm smarter, so long I've done my part to paint myself beautifully, get what I want out of the something then the rest, I'll just leave it.

BLAST!

I just dont understand, I dont understand why she behaves in such a way. She used to be a pure, humble girl. But now, she is trying to show off to me in every single chance she has. "Sai Meng" we call it. She has a house in the island, she has her beloved husband, her husband is someone she meant to be with, my work is shitty, long hours heavy workload with no increament and no promotion is terrible, he's not meant for me, I was too desparate, I dunno what true love is, everything I have is worse off than hers. Excuse me, didnt she have the similar life like me before? She worked long hours and was betrayed, she was rejected and was damn fucking down, she was toooo desparate by going to the bed with the so called bf whom she got to know in just 2 weeks time and that's called love of the life? Everything she does is just right and purrrfect.

Has she ever thought that she used to experience something that Im experiencing now? Has she ever thought back those bad things happened to her? Has she ever? Has she ever bla bla bla...I give up. I give up in explaining this, childish.

What I have and had, or what she has and had, nothing to do with anyone else in this world. Im just me myself. Comparison is always a trap. Be contented with what you have. Am I contented? I am not not contented. Am I jealous? No, I'm not, so my confidence level was hit? Oh no no no, a friend once told me, we can lose anything but not our confidence. 信心不能输!

For some reasons, I have to make it private. So you will not be able to view my blog *sigh*

Sailing with the direction from the Captain

I'm sailing towards the direction given by the Captain. But the crews are not cooperative enough, not willing to sail towards the given direction. This makes my journey a little bit more tricky to reach the destination. But I have no choice but to keep on sailing forward, and to understand that the air up above is cold and cruel but it is more refreshing. For that something that Im aiming for, I keep sailing.

misc

i miss the lion city, i miss meiji yogurt and i miss charles & keith even more!!! i think i shall consider buying online one day!!!!

streesss.....streesss....stress.....!!!!

backache not fully recovered, here comes the dunno toothache or jaw pain or watever pain...gloomy...

借刀杀人果然行的通 but what's next? Bullet witch should back in action. What comes around goes around

i have this fear recently, fear of losing my parents. i love them fully.

it's 11.11pm, they are sleeping but i'm having my dinner, feeling like a rat.

what else to whine about? the super slow streamyx? yeah probably, but i shall look at the bright side, it is slow but at least it is up and running.

i wan a good night sleep, no more nightmares no more insomia.

i whine yes i do, feeling down feeling gloomy yes i do , but all that dont stop me moving forward.

i wan a getaway.

pacman: i keep eating but not feeling full. wat else do u see in me?

finally....还是想念。。。但。。。算了。

Streamyx was down for weeks and finally it is up. Have got so much things to blog, but when i sit down right here, only thing tat came out was just the poem i created. have not been writing something in chinese for quite some times, and i'm quite satisfied with the little poem i posted previously. i love to write and i love to blog.

。。。。。。

啊 断了
不分也都分了
好久没见了
想念了

啊 窗外
雨停了
太阳出来了
该往前走了

啊 心死了
爱 埋了
人 累了
泪 干了

啊 世界变了
冰河溶了
地球升温了
宇宙
它
消灭了

Ironically

The man brought me back my favorite bag from the romantic city, ironically, the man has the same name as his.

At World's End

So Mrs Turner will look towards at the horizon for the greenlight for his return 10 years later and reunite with their son I suppose. 而我也会在沿海地带等着潮汐更改送你回来......

Things happening recently helped me to firm up my decision. Environment does really shape one-self. All I need now is just a little bit of luck to make it real; guys, spare me some, can u?

Medical Checkup

Has been feeling weak and tired recently; mom has been nagging for my under weight body. Thus, decided to go for a medical checkup. And the result seems funny:-

Me: Hi doctor, so what does the medical report say?
Doctor: Strange, very strange.... (
Me: (heart almost jumping out ) Strange???!!! Doctor, please tell me, is there something wrong with my body? my health????
Doctor: Please calm down my dear, we....we....we just detected a tattoo in your heart.
Me: Excuse me, doctor, did you just say A Tattoo in my heart???????!!!!!!
Doctor: Yee.....aa.
Me: Ridiculous!!! A tattoo in my heart! You must me kidding me, Doctor!
Doctor: It is the tattoo that makes you feel weak sometimes, my dear.
Me: Speechless......

On my way back home, I couldnt concentrate in my driving, my mind keep thinking about the tattoo. What a ridiculous checkup result, a tattoo in my heart. I dont even have the courage to tattoo my skin and now the doctor is telling me I have a tattoo in my heart. When and where did I go for that? In my dream? Some aliens took me away in my dream and marked that in my heart????!!!!

Unbelievable

But doctor, deep in my heart, I know you're right. There is in fact a tattoo in my heart which I marked it on not long ago........and it still bleeds at times.......